


Let Me Take the Pain Away (If Only for a Moment)

by Gavilan



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Bottom Steve Rogers, Chronic Pain, M/M, My First Smut, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Porn with Feelings, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Pre-World War II Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers, Steve's list of chronic illnesses, Top Bucky Barnes, Vanilla, a tiny bit of 40s research, apparently men's socks had garters, really just Bucky being sweet and fluffy with his best guy, who knew
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-24
Updated: 2018-11-24
Packaged: 2019-08-28 11:43:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16722702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gavilan/pseuds/Gavilan
Summary: Steve is having a bad day, and Bucky knows exactly what to do to get him out of his head.





	Let Me Take the Pain Away (If Only for a Moment)

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to my betas, sunsetscomiche (sunsetscomiche on Ao3 and tumblr) and mack (evensdramaticshenanigans on Ao3 and brooklynbabybucky on tumblr). Sunset, you're literally the reason I'm in fandom, and definitely the reason I'm reading and writing smut now. Thanks :P  
> Thanks to mack for fixing all my line breaks and making sure not every single sentence started with either "Bucky" or "he." You guys are the best.

Bucky could tell as soon as he got home that today had been an off day. He could see it in the way Steve had carefully done his hair and put on his nice shirt, even though he wasn’t planning on going anywhere today. He could see it in the slight shake of Steve’s hands as they gripped the stub of a pencil where it hovered over the blank scrap of paper on the kitchen table. He could see it in the shine of Steve’s eyes as he plastered on a smile.

“Welcome, home, Buck,” Steve said, setting the pencil down and pressing his palm into the table to stop the shaking. 

“Hey, Stevie,” Bucky said, eyeing Steve as he hung his hat and coat on the nail by the door. He was breathing fine and his color was good, so it wasn’t his lungs or his heart today. Those were always the scariest days. It would be his back, then, muscles spasming around his crooked spine, or his calves, clenched up from holding up even Steve’s slight weight. Steve always dressed nice on an off day. He couldn’t control how his body treated him, but he could control how it looked. 

Bucky hated the world that had given his best guy this life. A body too weak to support him, a life of too little food and too drafty houses, and a partner too poor to get him the relief he needed. He felt so helpless, watching Steve hold back the pain and smile with his too-bright eyes. Bucky took a deep breath and pushed that all aside. He couldn’t get Steve the doctor he needed, couldn’t make the pain go away. All he could do was be there, in whatever way Steve needed. 

“Have a good day down at the docks?” asked Steve.

“Not bad,” Bucky replied. “Still unloading the Santa Clara. Lots of heavy lifting, you know the drill.” 

“Way to rub it in, Buck. You think I’m not as good as you just ‘cause I can’t do all the ‘heavy lifting,’ huh?” The shine of pain in Steve’s eyes was rapidly being eclipsed by his spitfire anger. Bucky sighed. So it was going to be one of those days.

“You tryin’ to pick a fight, punk?” Bucky stepped into Steve’s space and looked down at him. Steve looked away, ashamed. 

“No,” he said, defiant. 

“Sure y’are, Stevie. Y’think I don’t notice when you’re hurtin’? You got every right to be angry. Hell, I’m angry at the world for you.” Bucky stepped back, throwing his arms open in invitation. “You need to throw some punches at someone, all you gotta do is ask. No sense sayin’ things you’ll regret later.” 

“Fine.” Steve stepped up and shoved Bucky hard enough to send him stumbling a bit. Bucky grinned and fought back, catching Steve’s mock punches and wrestling his arms free when Steve grabbed them. When Steve managed to get one of Bucky’s arms pinned behind his back, Bucky swept his leg under Steve’s, knocking them to the floor. He made sure Steve landed on him, catching a sharp elbow to the side that made him gasp. Then they were tussling on the floor the way they did when they were kids. The anger in Steve’s face was giving way to laughter by the time Bucky pinned him, holding Steve’s hands above his head and laying part of his weight across his legs to keep them still. 

“Better?” he asked with a grin.

“Jerk,” Steve responded. 

Bucky replied with a kiss, capturing Steve’s full bottom lip briefly before pulling back to look at him. He raised an eyebrow. 

“Still a jerk,” Steve said, but he raised his head to ask for another kiss. 

Bucky obliged, pressing their mouths together and darting his tongue to taste his lover’s mouth. He released Steve’s hands to card his fingers through the bangs Steve was always brushing out of his eyes. 

Steve immediately found a new home for his hands roaming over Bucky’s back. They kissed and kissed, gasping against each other’s mouths. Steve shoved at Bucky’s shoulder, signalling him to roll over and let Steve up. As soon as Bucky did so, Steve straddled him and started immediately undoing the buttons on Bucky’s shirt. 

“Nope,” Bucky said, grabbing Steve’s bird-thin wrists. “We have a bed for a reason, punk. Come on.” He sat up. The thought of  sweeping Steve into his arms and carrying him flickered through his mind, but he paused. Sometimes Steve liked being tossed around, but sometimes he didn’t want the reminder that he was weak. Right now, Bucky was pretty sure it was the latter. Sure enough, he stood, pulling at Bucky’s shirt where it had come untucked so he could slide his hand against his warm skin as they walked together to the bedroom. 

It was only a few steps to the bedroom and the narrow bed that was carefully pulled away from the wall. They tumbled into the bed and Steve immediately resumed his position, undoing the buttons with his deft artist’s fingers and shoving Bucky’s undershirt up to mouth at his stomach. Bucky propped his head up on his arms to watch as Steve left a series of marks on his stomach where no one could see. Bucky always cherished those little bruises, even if they meant keeping his shirt on in the heat during the summer. 

Bucky grabbed the sides of the bed in anticipation as Steve mouthed lower, inching down his sensitive stomach toward his waistline. His hips bucked when Steve licked a wide stripe across his stomach, right above the waistline of his pants, and Steve looked up with a wild grin, face flushed and eyes shining with desire instead of pain now. 

“C’mere,” Bucky growled, grabbing a handful of Steve’s shirt and pulling him up to kiss him. He licked messily into Steve’s mouth as he worked his shirt off, pausing only long enough to pull his undershirt over his head before seeking out his mouth again. 

Steve broke off the kiss, prompting a tiny whine out of Bucky, but his mouth returned immediately as he kissed his way back down Bucky’s torso. Bucky pushed his hair out of his eyes and traced the sharp, beautiful lines of Steve’s shoulders, first with his eyes, then with eager hands. Steve smiled against Bucky’s skin, then looked up. 

“You’re wearing too many, clothes, Buck,” he remarked, pushing Bucky’s undershirt further up his chest. 

“And whose fault is that?” Bucky asked with a raised eyebrow. 

Steve rolled his eyes and grabbed the offending garment to pull Bucky into a sitting position. Bucky went willingly, trying not to strain the shirt. Patching it up again would be annoying. Shirt and undershirt removed, they laid back down, but this time, Bucky flipped them so he was leaning over Steve, resting his weight on his forearms to gaze down appreciatively at the way Steve’s eyes closed with with pleasure as he straddled him. 

“Think it’s time to return the favor,” he mused, and kissed his way down Steve’s body, lavishing attention on every sharp edge and beautiful shadow. Steve’s ribs stood out as he arched his back, and Bucky forced his mind away from what that meant. His goal was to make Steve happy in this moment. He couldn’t do that if he was worrying about his weight. He blew cool air over Steve’s side where he was always ticklish, delighting in the way he squirmed and batted half heartedly at Bucky’s shoulders. 

“Hey,” Steve whined indignantly. 

“Sorry,” Bucky said with a completely unapologetic grin. He kissed the spot until Steve went boneless again and continued downward. 

When he reached the waist of Steve’s pants, pushed all the way down onto his narrow hips by their exertions until Bucky could see a hint of shiny blond hair - and damn if that didn’t make him want to rip those pants off right then - he paused and glanced up to take in his lover. Steve’s head was thrown back, baring his long neck and showing off the flush which extended halfway down his chest. After a moment, he looked up.

“What do you think you’re doing, jerk? Don’t stop!” he huffed, lifting his hips up encouragingly.

“Your wish is my command,” Bucky agreed and pulled Steve’s pants and shorts down to his knees in one quick motion. 

Bucky’s breath caught as he took in Steve’s pale thighs and hard pink dick. He paused a moment to enjoy the view of his lover lying loose-limbed across the bed. His hair was sweat-slicked and mussed as he tossed his head, and his lip was swollen where he had been biting it to keep back his moans. His face and chest were flushed as pink as his dick, the tip of which was edging toward purple. His legs, trapped by his pants around his knees and Bucky’s powerful thighs where he straddled him, were trembling, his hips making tiny, desperate thrusts. Bucky’s mouth watered at the sight of Steve so completely undone for him. He wanted to taste, to touch, to bring his lover up to the edge of his pleasure in a thousand ways before letting it crash over him. The desire to have Steve, to taste his hot dick and caress his shuddering skin and feel him clenched around his cock, hit him with an almost tangible, visceral punch of need.

“Please,” Steve whispered, and Bucky couldn’t resist any longer. He leaned down and took Steve’s dick in his wet, ready mouth, sliding all the way down immediately until he could feel the head in his throat, cutting off his breath. Steve bit down on his own hand to muffle his shout. Bucky stayed down, licking at the base of Steve’s cock, until his head swam, then swallowed around the head as he pulled up. The swallowing was practical, a trick he’d learned to keep his gag reflex down, but if Steve’s muffled moans were any indication, it was pretty effective for pleasure, too. He alternated between sucking hard and breathing deeply until his head was clear, then pulled off with a pop and wiped his messy chin and streaming eyes. 

“Jesus, Buck,” Steve said, and Bucky’s chest swelled at the trembling in his voice.

“You like that?” he asked, his throat feeling pleasantly raw.

“Obviously,” Steve responded, but the snarky tone was somewhat ruined by the way he could barely manage a proper breath. 

Bucky grinned. “So what should I do next?” he asked, feigning nonchalance as he traced patterns on Steve’s thigh with his index finger. “More of the same?” he suggested. “Or I could grab the slick and take you,” he offered in the same airy, casual tone. Steve let out a hollow groan at that and tried to spread his legs only to find that Bucky had him trapped. Bucky licked his lips and tensed his thighs, letting Steve feel the power he could use to hold him there. “That what you want, punk?” 

“Come on, Buck, you know I do,” Steve said, wriggling harder. “I always want you.” Bucky bit his lip to keep in his own groan as that statement went through him. 

“Well, suppose I can’t deny my best guy what he wants,” he said, reaching under the mattress for the tub of vaseline. Steve took advantage of the moment of inattention as Bucky groped under the mattress to try to wriggle his legs farther open, but Bucky clenched his thighs tighter in response. “Jeez, Stevie, have some patience,” he reprimanded him. “Aha!” He pulled the tub out triumphantly, and Steve relaxed in a conditioned response to what he knew that little tub meant for him. Bucky grinned and slid his finger along the small gap Steve’s relaxation exposed between his legs, and Steve twitched and whined at the feather-light sensation. 

“Let’s get you out of these, shall we?” Bucky said, climbing off Steve’s legs so he could reach his pants. Steve nodded frantically in agreement, and Bucky laughed as he pulled the pants off, then made quick work of Steve’s socks and garters. As soon as his legs were free, Steve pulled his knees up, spreading his legs wide. “Mmm, aren’t you gorgeous,” Bucky murmured. He ran his fingers through the wet mess he’d made of Steve’s pubic hair and smeared the wetness over his balls and then down his crack, carefully avoiding his hole. 

Steve made little greedy noises in the back of his throat with each motion as Bucky carefully moved the wetness downward with his fingers, pressing and teasing at the skin around his hole. He fumbled the vaseline open with his other hand and finally gave Steve what he wanted, pressing a spit-slicked finger against the opening. Steve went limp, his legs falling further open and presenting his tempting ass for Bucky’s pleasure. 

The spit, while effective for the teasing he was doing, wouldn’t last long for serious prep, so Bucky grabbed a fingerful of slick from the tub with his other hand and started pressing the finger in. Steve’s warm heat enveloped his finger, muscles clenching and releasing as he breathed through the initial pain-pleasure sensation. Bucky focused all his attention on feeling that give and take, using each release of Steve’s muscles to push in a little further, pressing against the soft sides, pulling out and listening to the hitch in Steve’s breath as he passed the sensitive rim to reach for more lubrication. 

Bucky took his time, getting all the way to the knuckle with one finger before slowly adding another. Steve’s dick had softened some during the first exploration as he focused on relaxing the muscles against Bucky’s welcome invasion, but by the time Bucky was two fingers deep and scissoring outward, stretching his lover’s body open for him, Steve was fully hard and muffling moans again. Bucky pressed in as far as he could and crooked his fingers, and Steve arched his back fully off the bed as Bucky found that soft pleasure spot deep inside him. 

Steve’s breath caught on a choked-off cry as Bucky repeated the motion. “Please, Buck, I need you inside me now,” he begged. “Please.” 

“Shh, Stevie,” Bucky said pulling out almost all the way to add more slick. “Don’t rush it.”

“I can take it,” Steve assured him, and Bucky heard that desperate need to prove himself that got Steve into countless back alley brawls. 

“I know you can,” he said. “I know you can, Stevie.” He kept stroking inside his lover, adding the tip of a third finger and biting his lip at the soft sound that resulted. “You’re so strong, so brave. But this is one pain you don’t have to take. I can keep you from this, even if I can’t fix the rest of what you live with. Let me do this for you, Stevie, please.” 

“Sap,” Steve accused him, but Bucky could hear the softness in his voice that meant he was touched. 

“Total sap,” he agreed. “But I’m your sap, so you’ll let me take care of you, won’t you, Stevie?” He punctuated this request with a full, strong stroke that made Steve groan into the pillow. 

“Yeah, Buck, whatever you want,” he said into the pillow. 

“What was that?” Bucky asked, raising an eyebrow and adding a twist to his steady motions.

“I said,  _ mmph _ , whatever you want,” Steve managed. 

“Well, what I want is to make this perfect for you, Stevie. And that means you take me when I say you’re ready, not before.” Bucky added more slick and increased the speed of his motions. 

“Yes,” Steve said on a long exhale, relaxing into Bucky’s hands. 

Bucky nodded and continued his work. He would make sure Steve was completely open for him, no matter how long it took. By the time he worked up to four fingers, Steve was as slick and open as a dame, not even flinching when Bucky passed his rim, and he was sweat drenched and reduced to tiny, mewling sounds deep in his throat, long lashes fluttering against his cheeks. Yes, Bucky thought, now he’s ready, and he was immediately aware of his own desperate need which he had pushed away to focus on Steve’s body. Without letting up on his stroking, he fumbled with his pants, removing them one-handed with some struggle. 

“Buck, please,” Steve whispered when he felt the bed jostle and realized what it meant. “I need you.”

“I know, sweetie, I know,” Bucky replied. “I’m here. I’ve got you.”

He slicked up his cock and lined up with Steve’s gaping hole, fingers still stroking. From one stroke to the next, he replaced his hand with his cock and slid home. Steve let out a moan that was almost a sob as Bucky slid slowly in until he bottomed out. Steve was warm and tight and wet around Bucky’s cock, and he shuddered and bit his lip hard, using the pain to distract himself from the overwhelming pleasure after so long ignoring his own arousal. 

“God, Stevie,” he whispered, voice wrecked. He leaned back and pulled Steve with him, sliding an arm under his back and lifting Steve’s body partially off the bed to keep himself deep inside him. He traced the rim of Steve’s ass where they were joined, making Steve twitch in his arms. Holding Steve still by the hips, he pulled out slightly and pushed back in, the slide making them both gasp. He tilted forward, catching his weight on the bed next to Steve’s shoulder with one hand and keeping the other on Steve’s hip to control his motions. He felt Steve shiver as the motion pushed him deeper inside. He was desperate to move, to fuck into Steve’s welcoming warmth, but he forced himself to set a slow, slick pace, tilting his hips just right so that almost every stroke brushed against Steve’s sweet spot. Steve’s mouth was wide open, lips glistening as he gasped, and Bucky leaned in to take his mouth, kissing him deep, tasting and devouring him as he continued his inexorable slide inside his body. 

“Bucky,” Steve mouthed, breath stuttering against Bucky’s lips as Bucky’s cock slid into him again. “Please.” This time he found breath for the word, enough for a whisper. That broken whisper snapped the last of Bucky’s control, and he burrowed his face into Steve’s neck and began fucking him in earnest, snapping his hips with all of the force in his powerful thighs. He leaned forward onto his elbow, trapping Steve’s cock between their heaving bodies, the sweat slicking the way for a slide that put Steve on the edge in seconds. 

“Come,” Bucky growled into Steve’s ear, seconds away from his own impending orgasm, and Steve did, whole body jerking as he added to the slick mess between their chests, mouth wide open in a silent scream. Bucky released his hold on his own pleasure, and two more thrusts brought him crashing over the edge. He bit the pillow next to Steve’s head as he came, squeezing Steve’s hip and pushing himself as deep into his lover as he could go. 

Shaking from the release, Bucky collapsed onto his side, pulling Steve with him to keep himself seated inside his body. Steve traced a hand listlessly down Bucky’s side, breathing settling out. Bucky came out of the haze of his orgasm slowly and reached for the cloth draped over the foot of the bed, sliding it under Steve as he pulled out and rolled Steve’s limp form back onto his back. He pressed his ear to Steve’s chest, relieved to hear only his rapid heartbeat and quick breathing. No wheezing or whistling today. It was always a risk, but they’d agreed a long time ago that it was a risk worth taking. 

Steve smiled at Bucky, blinking bleary, watery eyes. “That was great, Buck.” 

“Of course it was, punk,” Bucky replied, lifting his head from Steve’s chest and shoving his shoulder lightly. He was grinning like a madman, though. He lay back, tucking his shoulder under Steve’s so they fit in the narrow bed side by side. They lay in comfortable silence, smiling up at the ceiling as their breathing calmed and the sweat and come dried on their bodies. That was going to itch later, Bucky knew, but he didn’t care enough to make it worth moving and breaking this moment. 

“Thanks,” Steve said into the silence some minutes later. “I needed that.” 

“I know,” Bucky responded. “I do my best. I may not be able to provide for you the way I want, Stevie, but you’re my best guy, and I’ll do whatever I can to help you feel better. Any way I can. I love you.” Bucky paused, letting his statement settle into the space between them. Then he grinned and rolled over to face Steve. “Besides, not like I’d pass up a chance at your skinny ass.” He grabbed a handful of that ass as Steve rolled over to look him in the eye. Steve laughed and pulled him into a kiss. 

“Sure, Buck, how could you resist all this handsome?” And for a moment, Bucky could tell Steve, high on the afterglow of some intense sex, believed it without second-guessing himself the way he so often did. 

“My handsome, wonderful Stevie,” Bucky agreed. “Now get up before all this come of yours dries in my chest hair!” He shoved Steve playfully, and Steve retaliated in kind, pushing Bucky off the edge of the bed with a well placed shove to said sticky chest. Laughing, Bucky picked himself up and chased Steve out of the room. 

It wasn’t much, but Bucky did what he could. He supported Steve as best as he knew how, and laughed and played and fucked and loved with his best guy no matter how difficult things were. The pain was still there, hiding under the surface, but Steve had moved past the anger for today, muscles loose and a smile on his face. Bucky could do that for him, could make him forget the pain, even for a little while. And hey, it’s not like it was a hardship. He wanted more for his Stevie, wanted him healthy and living somewhere he could eat till Bucky couldn’t count his ribs, somewhere the drafts didn’t make his breathing worse, somewhere he didn’t have to worry about making ends meet. But he loved Steve, no matter how hard life got and no matter what life threw at them, layoffs at work and new, exciting illnesses and the shadow of a war on the horizon. He wouldn’t give up what they had together for anything. 

 


End file.
